3T Karate Teaches Students The 3 Steps To Handle Bullying

3T Karate Teaches Students The 3 Steps To Handle Bullying

Parents Often Feel Powerless To Help Their Kids Deal With Bullying

It's one thing to know that bullying can have negative affects on your child.  It's entirely another thing to know how to help your child handle being bullied, or what to do is someone else is being bullied.  We tell our kids things like "just ignore them", or "its okay to stand up for yourself" but this doesn't usually translate into a resolution for your child.  Often a parent feels powerless to help their child cope with these types of situations.  But... it's imperative that kids learn to handle bullying while they are young.  Bullies don't go away just because we grow older.  They just take on different forms.  They become the abuse boss, the passive-aggressive coworker, or a verbally abusive spouse.  So... if kids don't learn anti-bullying skills early on, they will become adults who find themselves in similarly powerless situations as they grow up.  The truth is, the only, way to handle a bully is to confront them and end the bullying.  We teach our students three steps to resolving bullying situations.  (Now I want to be clear... I can't take credit for these steps. Gracie Jiu-jitsu has a wonderful Bulletproof program that parents can use to help their kids and since they have done such a great job, it didn't make sense to try to reinvent the wheel.  If you want to work with your kids at home you should check out their program - http://www.gracieacademy.com/bully_proof.asp.)

Stop Bullying Step 1 - TALK To The Bully

Yes... sometimes its that simple.  Tell the bully to stop doing what they are doing.  If your child looks the bully in the eye and tells them with confidence that they don't want to be bothered any more, that may be enough.  This only works if the child is calm and confident when they speak.  This is something you can role play with your child at home.  You want them to focus on being calm and not overly aggressive but at the same time displaying confidence.  Remember... bullies get their power from fear.  They aren't really interested in fighting but they do enjoy the attention they get from picking on less confident kids.  They will move on to an easier target if your child stands up for themselves.  Another important thing to note about this step is it teaches your child to solve their problems at the lowest level.  If you have a complaint you should take it the person who can solve it, not everyone else.  The first person who can solve the bullying problem is the bully.

Stop Bullying Step 2 - TELL Someone In Authority

Sometimes talking to the bully and telling them to stop won't be enough.  Step 2 is to tell someone in authority that can help you solve the problem. This is how conflict resolution works in the real world and its how it works with bullying as well.  If Step 1 fails, then your child should talk to a teacher, the school principle or counselor, and to you as well.  The student talking to the person in authority may be enough to get the job done but it may also require you as a parent to run some interference as well and make sure that school officials understand the gravity of the situation.  Just like Step 1, as a parent you should demonstrate conflict resolution skills to your child by showing that you can work the right people to help them solve the problem.

Stop Bullying Step 3 - TACKLE Them With Verbal Martial Arts

In a lot of cases telling people in authority about the bullying situation will help partially resolve it.  But often the bully will simply be more cautious about when and where they do the bullying and make sure that people in authority don't see it.  In those cases it is going to end up being up to your child to handle the situation.  How your child handles the confrontation will determine whether the situation ends, or continues for weeks, months, or even years.  We teach the exact script on how to verbally tackle the bully in our classes.  It is also in the student homework in our Facebook Membership Groups.  The truth is, the confrontation will rarely result in a fight because the bully gets their power from fear, not from fighting.  If forced to fight they lose that power.  This may seem counterintuitive in an academic setting where everyone gets expelled if they are involved in a fight.  However, bullying won't end until the bully is confronted and that has to be done in a way the doesn't end in a fight, or if a fight ensues, that a child knows how to control the bully in a way that nobody gets hurt.  This minimizes the chances they will get expelled... especially if they can explain all the steps the took to resolve the situation and not hurt the bully.  

Karate Builds The Confidence Kids Need To Stand Up To Bullies

The most important factor in ending bullying is your child having confidence that they can handle the situation.  Martial arts is a phenomenal tool for building the confidence and self-esteem necessary to handle bullies.  If you are a student with 3T Karate in the O'Fallon, Belleville, Fairview Heights area then see one of your instructors to schedule a private lesson to role play the verbal self-defense and find out how you as a parent can help your child build the confidence necessary to stand up for themselves.  Review the homework on the membership page in Facebook and spend time role playing situations so your kids feel more comfortable applying what they are learning in their karate classes.  If you aren't currently a 3T Karate student, then call 3T Karate in Swansea (618-416-2222) and set an appointment to speak with one of our wonderful instructors so we can start your child on the road to being bullyproof.  In additional to helping your child stand up to bullies, we will help build their confidence, improve their focus, increase their athleticism, and develop success skills like self-discipline and mental toughness.  


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